Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Being a Stay at Home Mom: I Don't "Work"

There's something great about the community you can find online. I'm so blessed to be able to read other blogs by mothers that stay home, or even other women who are able to follow their dreams and work from home. But my reality? Well, it's more than just a little different than the online realm I like to take part in. 

In my "real life," I'm a different breed. None of the women I know stay home, for one reason or another. And you know what? That's okay! I understand that for many different reasons women either can't, or do not want to stay home. Those women are amazing, and they are doing what is right for them and their family. 

In no way is this post meant to belittle the working mom. Those women have responsibilities and hardships that I have not known as a mother, and God willing I won't have to know them.  

But, there are so many articles out there touting that the working mom is such a wonderful thing, that they are better mothers because they work, and so on. I often find myself thinking, well okay, but what about the stay at home mom

It seems like we constantly feel like we have to apologize for being at home. I often see other stay at home bloggers saying things like, I am so blessed to be able to stay at home right now, or things of that nature. Which is totally true! But I feel that we don't need to always be saying that every time we mention staying home with our child or children. Yes, it is a blessing to stay at home, but I also know most of us work very hard and sacrifice a lot to be able to stay at home with our children.

Personally, we have given up a lot for me to be able to stay at home with our daughter. Am I bragging? No. But sometimes I feel like I'm not even able to speak about what we do or how we live our lives because it might offend the moms that don't stay at home with their children. That's not fair, either. 

I feel alone a lot in this world of staying at home because I don't "work" like other mothers. It's funny to say that, isn't it? Because being at home, it seems like the work never stops. Sure, I don't do the 9-5 anymore, but I care for my child from early in the morning until she goes to bed, on top of tending to a house and cooking, among other things. 

Yes, it's monotonous. Yes, I do the same things at the same times every day. Yes, I get tired and I get bored with what I'm doing around the house. But, I love being home with my baby. 

And you know what? Being a stay home mom can be just down right hard sometimes. Being a mom in general is hard. There are days where it just literally just doesn't seem like I can make it through. 

There's those times where the baby has been crying nonstop, your to-do list has reach Mt. Everest height along with your laundry, you've barely slept, and your husband comes home frazzled from work and snaps about how messy the house is. And you just want to break down and cry. 

But then there's no one to talk to. There's no one that quite understands what you're going through, and if you talk to your friends that do work out of the home, it's immediate judgement. You can feel the, "well you stay at home, how bad can it really be?" right in the tone of the conversation. And then you feel guilty about feeling overwhelmed, which just makes you feel completely inadequate. 

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, all you working moms out there, you're great. You do things and juggle things that I have had no experience with. And I commend you for it. But us stay at home moms have a hard job too. A job we hardly, if ever, get any credit for.  That's probably the hardest part of it all. 

And you know what? We're all in the same boat. Us moms need to stick together instead of tearing one another down because of what we do for a living. The one thing that should unite us is the greatest job title of all, Mom. 

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