Wednesday, December 3, 2014

No Christmas Spirit Here



This is how I feel. Right now, sitting at my computer, I don't even want to see another thing about Christmas. I'm done, over it--I quit.

Every year I get excited for the holidays because I love what Christmas stands for--a time for family, love, giving, and most importantly celebrating the birth of Christ.

But each year as I've gotten older, this little knot starts developing in my stomach when the calendar hits December 1st. The knot of "What day can you come over?" and the always disapproving "Well...let me know what works for you then, I guess."

You know, that knot created by the passive aggressiveness that underpins every text and conversation about when and where and who will be celebrating this season?  It doesn't matter that you work around everyone's schedule for the big holiday party, you've also got to be available to every beck and call and every little tradition that each family member has ever celebrated in their entire life. Heaven forbid you may have to change the day or--GASP!--cannot make Susie's brother's aunt's Christmas tree lighting.

I'm done with it. I don't want any of it. Not at all. In fact, I may just stay at home with my little girl and refuse to see anyone at all. I mean, that would teach them, right?

See, then I get to that point in my head, and just realize how ridiculous this whole Christmas thing has gotten. It's not about seeing everyone and their brother and buying gifts we can't afford. It's not about pleasing mother-in-laws or worrying about what your family thinks.

It's really not about all the decorations or getting that perfect gift for your kids. It's about Jesus. It's about his birth and really that's all that matters.

I am so worn out and it's only December 3. When I want to throw in the towel, curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out from the stupidity that always seems to follow this time of year, I desperately try to seek Him in all the mess. It's harder than it should be.

This time of year should be all about Him, but it's not. Sure, we put out the nativity scenes and listen to "The Drummer Boy," "Silent Night," and even "Oh, Come Let Us Adore Him" but are we really thinking about what we are listening to? I have to admit I sing along without really thinking about what I am saying half the time.

So, my new goal this Advent season is to take time just to be. To be with Him and to focus on what is truly important this time of year rather than thinking about what person is angry at me right now. I will be purposeful in my mood and in my mindset, trying not to let all this yucky-ness that seems to plague this time of year seep through. I will choose joy over despair.

And I may--just maybe--will lay down, take a nap, and pretend like all this craziness isn't happening.


6 comments:

  1. I agree, this time of year can be so stressful! I'm consciously trying to just enjoy it and not sweat the small stuff. Wishing you luck in relaxing, being faithful and just enjoying the season! :)

    xoxo
    Kat

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    1. Thank you! I'm just not going to let myself get irritated, because it's not worth it. It just get's silly sometimes. I hope you enjoy your holidays too :)

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  2. Amen, and amen.

    Katie @ Cup of Tea

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    1. So funny we had such similar posts today!

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  3. Well said! I feel the exact same way as you do. All of the stress takes away from the joy that it should be.It's about Jesus not how much money we can spend on each other. I want to relax and enjoy Raylan's 1st Christmas. I don't want to be stressed to the max which I already am.

    Della@Della Devoted
    delladevoted.blogspot.com

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    1. I feel like even when I try not to be stressed, it happens because I just want everyone to be happy during this season. I think I'm to the point that I need to realize all that matters is if my little family is happy, and whatever else happens is bonus. So if we can't do everything, then we can't do everything. Harder said than done!

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