Monday, December 29, 2014

When Reality Smacks You in the Face

Guys, my mama heart hurts right now. A big ol' ache right in the middle of my chest.

See, for the past year I have been doing a job I never thought I'd love so much: being a stay at home mommy to my now almost 14 month old. 

When I finally found a full time job right around the time that I also found out I was pregnant, my ultimate goal was to try to make it work to stay home for a year. I had enough for 6 months, but luckily was able to make it stretch and work until now. 

Our reality is that we aren't making the ends meet right now. We are so unbelievably close, but just not quite there. 

We both agreed we would not go into credit card debt for me to stay home. I know that's not a good idea, but my heart doesn't always agree with my head. 

Right now, I'm not even sure that my "dream job" would quite keep away the sting of leaving my little girl. 

Now, I do know that there are things we can cut, stuff we could do that would keep me home. We could sell my car, but then I wouldn't have a vehicle if there was an emergency. 

Yes, I could feed our family processed food that's cheaper and quite frankly easier, but that's one of the few things that I'm not willing to compromise about. Our family needs to eat healthy for all of our sakes, so although I will do my best to keep the grocery bills down, it's not something I can cut back significantly.

Some day I would love to have this blog be my income. Something I love doing and allows me to stay home with my baby girl? Yep, pretty much sounds ideal. 

But I guess for now, I will find a way to help out our family, although my goal will probably always be to get back home until Juliet and any other future children are in school. 

Do you wish you stayed home full time with your kids? How do you deal with having to work? 


  1. Friend, my heart aches for you to be in this situation. I hope things work out for you all, and I'll be praying! You know I'm okay with going to work, but staying at home was never an option I could even consider.


    1. I'm so glad I got the opportunity to get to stay home with her as long as I did. I think I will be okay eventually, I just felt I was being called to stay home, but maybe that part is over now.

      Thank you for the prayers, that will be very helpful in the transition, whatever that may be!

  2. I'm sorry mama :( I hope it all works out and you can find something that works for you all, maybe something from home?? Either way, thinking of you all xoxo

    1. I've been looking into things from home or in the evenings to help with the childcare situation. I know we will make it work no matter what, I just have moments where it's definitely difficult. Thank you for the thoughts!

  3. I can understand your heartache. I worked full-time when my boys were babies. My husband was in school and we had a wonderful in-home daycare. But, honestly, I have no regrets that I worked when they were little. My oldest has more memories of daycare than my youngest does, but they certainly have not suffered because they were in daycare. They are now 14 and 16 and happy, well adjusted, good kids. I became a stay at home mom when my oldest was 6 and my youngest was 3. I think it's so much more important to be home with my kids now. I work at home doing transcription and some editing, but I am the one my kids talk to when they get home from school. I am here to help with homework. I take them places, I know their friends. I am being faced with needing to get a job to help out and, for me, it's so much harder now than it was when my sons were babies. I hate the thought that they might have to come home from school without me being here. I feel your pain, truly.